I want to have a neat talk with you today.I call this a no-bullshit tough love talk.This is one of the times that Iam not going to act like a highbrow and tell you what to do.Iam also not going to shove a bunch of tricks at your face,instead going to throw light on some of the aspects of being an extra-ordinary human being,and redirect your attention where it really needs to be.
This post is going to make you feel uncomfortable and awkward,but that’s because life itself is a series of awkward and uncomfortable events.If you are not feeling a little off balance at times,that means you are not moving,not doing anything new.
You are dead before even dying.
If you have been reading countless self-help material,but have achieved little to nothing substantial to show,this might be one of the most important articles you are going to read,ever.
Let’s get a little uncomfortable gentlemen:
DENIAL IS NOT THE SOLUTION
How do you make more money?
What is exactly the first step you take before you start making more cash?
How do you improve at academics?
How do you improve relationship with your spouse,your children,your parents?
How do you get leaner and acquire a better body?
What is the first step that you need to accomplish before you really achieve anything in your life?
Answer is -ACCEPTANCE!
You accept and admit to yourself that you have a problem in particular area,that needs to be addressed.
As long as you keep denying that to yourself,you won’t ever begin the developmental process.
The car doesn’t go anywhere if you don’t accept that it’s not moving and the engine needs to get started.
Denying a problem doesn’t make it go away,yet the number of people who delude themselves into thinking that everything in their lives is perfect,always leave me dumbfounded.
Your problems stay and get stronger the more you deny it.
Acting blind to your problems won’t ever make them disappear and very ironically,the first persongoing to hurt by denial, is going to be yourself.
Which area of your life you are most unsatisfied with? What makes you most unhappy about your life?
Don’t let your ego get in the way.It can only be fixed when you acknowledge that it is broken.
Be honest if there is a problem (there is always a room for improvement) in your life which needs to be fixed.
YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON
Yup.You are not the first one to be experiencing that pain or that problem.
That is a good news.
That means someone long before you, had already gone through what you are going through right now.There are people who have experienced the same situations and anguishes as yourself and yet they emerged winner.
If it can be done by any other mortal being,it can be done by you.
No matter where you are or what your circumstances may be right now,it can be turned around.
Even if you are doing dishes at a crappy motel,you can rise to the level you dream, if you want.
Do you know that Megan Fox used to work in a smoothie shop in Florida, before she became a movie goddess?
She had to dress up in banana costume and stand infront of the shop to persuade customers into the shop.
And you think your life is tough?
The past doesn’t determine your future.
What really matters,are the actions of today.
What are you doing today that is going to turn your life around tomorrow? Because, it’s a fact that if you are not doing anything different than what you have been doing up until now,don’t you get fuckin’ surprised when you find yourself living the same lifestyle a decade from this day.
Small actions today will lead to great results tomorrow.
Even if you take a step daily to reach to the summit of a mountain,just a single step every day, you will reach there.Otherwise you can sit,look at the top and keep whining how it’s too high and it would be too difficult to reach there.
Whiners don’t achieve shit.
Do something instead of whining and bitching about your problem.The actual work you are going to put is going to make it go away,tomorrow if not today.
Find a mentor to look up to.
There are a ton of them in every field who have achieved everything they wished,even if they weren’t born with it.
If they can do it,so can you.
HOW DO I GET BETTER AT *Insert your wish here*
Ah yes…you already knew that!You might even be saying to yourself-“This man is telling me something I already know.Fuck this dude.”
But when all is said and done,the one thing that 90 percent of the people don’t do is practice.They once attempt something and if they fail,they conclude that it’s hard and not for them.
When you were a kid,you tried to walk on your feet and you fell.You remember falling more times than shitting in your diaper.
Did you conclude that walking is really hard and not for you?
Question-How do you get better at basketball?
Question-How do you get better at being social?
Question-How do you get better in business?
Fuck you! YOU PRACTICE!!
The more you practice,the more you become proficient at it.
Simple as that.
Even if you chop the wood.The more you chop,the better you become at it.
Practice does makes a man perfect.
KEEP IT SIMPLE!
Problems arise when you seek complicated answers to the simple questions.
Most of the answers to life’s biggest problems are in fact,most obvious.
You don’t need me to tell you how to manage your time,how to make more money or how to be a winner.
You know what you should be doing.
You already know where to start.But you don’t take the necessary steps.You look for more reading material,more blogs like this one to tell you some complex steps to achieving whatever it is that you want.After all,there must be a magic pill to getting it all,all at once.Right?
Well I’m here to tell you this and listen very carefully-if you are not living the dream you have, or *gasp* are not even following your dream,there is only one factor preventing you from it-YOU!
You are screwing yourself over and over again.Searching for a magic potion to fulfill all your dreams in a snap.I say you are pathetic if you even remotely believe in such a thing.
Brian Tracy nailed it when he said-“The Price Of The Success Is To Be Paid In Full…In Advance.”
There is no shortcut to success,mind you.
Sachin Tendulkar,who is reverently designated as ‘The God Of Cricket’ wasn’t made in a day.He used to get up at 4:00am in the morning to practice the game even though the coach allotted the practice time to be from 8:00 am on wards.
The guy used to wake up on chilling mornings, four hours advance his team mates,fix the net all by himself and practice his swings even on the days he didn’t feel like practicing.He literally rolled himself out of the bed on numerous occasions and dragged himself out in the field.
Here you look at him and think he is ‘lucky.’
He is not ‘lucky’,he is a self-made man.
He knew what should be done and he did it…and kept on doing it until he became invincible. And there is nothing,and I really mean it when I say nothing,that sets him apart from you.Yes,you have got the same potential as every other over-achiever you admire.Likewise,you too know what to do,the steps you should take to accomplish your dreams and yet you don’t.
Here’s what happens:
?You set a goal
?You start practically with a bang,with everything you got.
?You get a little exhausted in pursuit of your dreams,because let’s face it-everybody gets exhausted.
?You don’t see the immediate effects of your actions.It seems as if your every action is futile.
?You quit and keep living a mediocre lifestyle.
Now have a look at the process of the persons who are winners-
?They set a goal
?They start practically with a bang,with everything they have got
?They get a little exhausted because let’s face it-everybody gets exhausted
?They don’t see the immediate effects of their actions.It seems as if all their actions are futile…
?They keep on going.They are not willing to accept the mediocrity.
It’s not an option for them.
They believe that their dream,the success is just around the corner and all that is required, is a little more hard work, and they push themselves beyond the limit just a little harder each and every time they fail.They take better approach.
The minor distinction in their beliefs,and a little more perseverance leads them to the greatness.
The technological advancements have made us victims of the ‘instants’-from noodles to getting physically toned and increasing aesthetic appeal,we want it all this very instant.Not tomorrow,not after two hours, but right now.
‘Success’ and ‘right now’ don’t appear in the same sentence though.
Success does takes time and a lot of effort.
So get it drilled into your head right now-if you aren’t willing to put time and effort to get to make your dreams a reality and to be successful,you can forget about it.
I repeat it gentlemen,success takes time and a lot of effort.
If you believe anything else,turn around and leave.
It’s not for you.I bid you bye-bye to your boring lifestyle with drama
and constant problems.
Somebody tries to tell you that you can be successful just by letting the grass grow under your feet,you better watch your wallet because he would be selling you something.
You must approach the whole situation of achieving your dreams and ambitions like growing a mango tree for yourself.(Yes I like mangoes and I know you don’t,still just play along.)
You plant a mango seed and water it.You keep watering and nurturing every damn day,even on the days you don’t feel like doing it.
It’s your responsibility.
What exactly do you do when you don’t see the seedling emerge?
Do you think your actions are in vain and you stop watering and taking care of it?
I doubt it.
You keep it protected and keep watering the plant which is adamant enough to not emerge from the ground.
Then after a while, you see the little beautiful seedling which has just exposed himself to the sunshine.
You are over-joyed.
But hey,it’s still not giving any mango.Let’s pluck it and throw it away.You have been taking care of the damn plant for what seems like an eternity and it doesn’t still gives a fruit.Why take care of it anymore?
What?You think I’m insane if I uproot the plant?
And what the fuck do you do when you set to achieve your dreams?
They become a seedling but you don’t see the results you want and you ditch them.You don’t see the mangoes so you stop watering it.You stop protecting it.Soon your dream dies…forever.
Rome wasn’t built in a day,man.
It takes time and consistent effort for the dreams to take the form of reality.Doesn’t mean that they won’t.
It’s just the way it works.
“If you are not willing to die for your dream,you are not ready to live it yet”
Another complain I often get from guys who send me mails is that they have the dreams and the desire but they lose motivation very quickly.
Now I have already exposed you to the best practices you can adopt to spark and maintain a high dose of motivation while working towards your goals.If that doesn’t seem to push you further,let me tell you another thing you already know.
YOU DON’T WANT IT,BAD ENOUGH.
No arguing over this shit.
If your dreams don’t literally get you fired up when you think about them,it’s not going to work.You are going to lose motivation expeditiously.This happens because your dreams,whatever they are,are not actually your’s but someone else’s.Maybe society,family or friends told you what you should be dreaming and working on.
Remember this-it is very imperative that you desire your dreams.Desire is a very charged word and I use it because I can’t really use any other term that puts it so bluntly.
If you have a dream,which literally doesn’t gets you motivated,it’s really not yours but someone else’s.
Get rid of it.
“But Kumar,how do I know what I desire?“
You already know it.Look within you and ask yourself that question-“What do I really desire?“.
Let me make it even simpler for you. Answer me this-What do you think would be great to become but of course, you can’t be it because you are too poor,uneducated,unqualified,
Is it to become an entrepreneur?
Is it to become a pianist?
Is it to become a real good mechanic? A painter? Hair Stylist?
Do not be ashamed of it.Take pride in it and start working towards it.
I once met a guy while waiting for the bus for the college.We both were waiting for the same bus and a while had passed.In order to make the most of the time,I started chatting with him.He told me that he was there to get coaching to crack the medical entrance examination, pointing at the big beautiful coaching building.
“Great goal,let me tell you.Most people can just never force themselves to be dedicated to the academics.” I said rather with a humorous tone.
“No…it’s not my dream…it’s my parents’” he said meekly.
He further revealed that he actually wanted to become a teacher,but because being a teacher is not looked upon as prestigious as being a doctor,he was coaxed by his parents to bust his ass towards something he genuinely hated.
It is sad,very sad that most of us spend major part of our lives,sometimes our entire lives forging somebody else’s ambitions to reality.
It’s time to let them go and begin shaping your life the way YOU want it.
Begin putting efforts to make your dreams real.Remember you need to water the plant everyday until it grows so big that it can provide you fruits for the rest of your life.
Your every effort counts,no matter how small or insignificant they
seem right now.
It all adds up to the grand scheme.
The tallest buildings are made from the numerous small bricks.
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THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY
I can craft words to inspire,motivate and pump you with adrenaline and get you all excited about achieving your dreams all I want, but realize that at the end of the day you have got only one person to fall back to-YOURSELF.
Once you are done reading this post and thousand other posts with similar themes (inferior in quality than this one though),the only person that can make real change in your life is yourself.
If you don’t take action,there is nothing I,or anybody else could do that is going to make any difference in your life.
You are the master of your own destiny.
No, God does not hold strings to your life,neither there is any pre-defined script for your life which you will inevitably fall in, no matter what you do.That is bullshit.
Keep things simple.
The simplest answer is you get what you put.Garbage in,garbage out…Gold in,gold out.
I always see people wondering about happiness.They want to know the biggest secret of the universe-how to be constantly happy?
It’s no fuckin’ secret.
Here it is:
Happiness is directly proportional to the time spent on doing worthwhile things.
If you spend most of your time stagnating and watching sitcom,you are going to become depressed, no matter how many ‘Friends’ episodes you watch.
You will feel most happy when you won’t have any regrets.The people who are sulky,are the ones who got regrets about the things that they could have, would have or should have done.
Do not let regrets be the last thing on your mind when you are on your death-bed.Today is all you have got.Don’t spend it thinking about people who don’t give a damn about you.Utilize every second of this day building your future awesome,building an empire that the world stares in awe at.And when you have accomplished everything that it is you have ever wanted,take pleasure in other people’s words-“He is so lucky…”
All the tips,techniques and tactics that you read on this blog are just icing on the cake.They won’t do you good worth a dime,if you don’t take charge and do something about your life and your current situations.
Do not do your best.Do the best humanly possible.
The cry of the mediocrity is-“Oh I did my best…”
That’s why you failed.Success do not come to those who do their best but to those who put the required work to the extent that you begin to doubt if they are going to survive.
Don’t feel down when you do the absolute best yet don’t achieve what you set forth.It’s a proof that whatever you are doing is worth your time and effort.Time to take position and hit the ball harder.
You have your whole life ahead of you and are just starting out.Don’t
sit on the sideline and watch,as people like me live their wildest fantasies.Join us,it’s a great place to be in and we are eagerly awaiting your arrival.
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Until Next Time,