Allow me to introduce you to Josh.
Josh is a 22 year old, average looking, pretty decent guy, and he is currently pursuing bachelors degree in computer science.
Like most guys in their early twenties, Josh loves spending time with his buddies, watching action movies and football games, and flirting with cute girls.
But, unlike most of the guys in his age bracket, Josh has a special talent-he is more adept at coding some really awesome computer programs.
And, I am talking about some really hardcore coding stuff here.
Josh also dreams to have his own personal company dedicated to building software for the other companies and firms.
But that’s where it ends for him. “It’s just a dream”, he says.
I asked Josh about his flair in coding and how is he able to code some really complex programs with a-piece-of-cake ease. All I ever got was a confused look and a vague response-
“It’s just my thing,you know.”
I also inquired Josh about his ambition to have his own company. He laughed heartily and said that it is just a dream and would never be true.
I was flabbergasted.
Had you looked at me when Josh said that he thinks he can never have his own company, you would have thought somebody stunned me by hitting a baseball bat on my head.
“Why??” was my immediate rebound. I could have asked more intellectual questions, but at that moment, ‘why’ was the impulse.
He thought about the question for a couple of seconds or so before answering. His eyebrows knitted and he couldn’t put anything into words.
“I don’t know…” He laughed “I guess it’s just not my thing…”
Those words have significant meaning- “not my thing”
Let me ask you a question now.
What do you think stops people like Josh from going after what it is they dream about?
And by the way, it’s not just Josh that suffers with this problem, there are more people out there like him (maybe you?) who sabotage themselves, just because they ‘think‘ they can’t do ‘that thing‘ they dream about.
What is this unseen force that limits rather intellectual and able individuals from going after what it is they really want?
What is the mental barrier which seems insurmountable to such a huge population?
What if I inform you about this force which holds the power to transform your life for the better?
It has the ability to turn your life around, no matter how bad you consider your situation to be right now.
It is a single most powerful concept I have ever come across my entire life, and yes, I have applied it to make some very positive changes in my own life.
How much are you willing to pay for it, knowing that it will change your life for sure?
A hundred dollars?
Five hundred dollars?
Maybe even more?
The self-help industry has been plagued by myriad practices which claim to fill your life with every sort of jubilance and abundance.
Honestly, ninety five percent of those, are a hundred percent bullshit.
The different eBooks and expensive courses you buy off the internet and local bookstores promise to make your every dream come true, but they don’t.
You buy them and then you realize that they are neither what you expected them, nor as great as they were marketed to be.
Don’t even come close.
Your life instead of becoming better, just got worse by the fact that you spent your hard-earned money on that shitty product.
What if I tell you that the technique that Iam going to reveal to you is better than any technique for self-improvement you would ever find, and yet is absolutely FREE of cost?!
No conditions applied.
No hidden charges.
You don’t have to pay a single cent to me for it. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
All you must do is practice it. As much as you can. That’s it. And you will start seeing results in about three weeks.
Will you do it?
THE CURIOUS CASE OF SELF IMAGE
The concept Iam talking about is of the ‘Self Image‘.
What is ‘Self Image’, you ask?
The word ‘Self Image’ was coined and popularised by Dr.Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon, in his famous best-selling book ‘The Psycho Cybernetics,’ published back in 1960.
Self-Image, by definition, is the mental picture, a blueprint of yourself that you hold in your mind.
You may not be aware of it but, you have set a carved image of yourself all in your mind-to the very last detail. Every inch of your personality is determined by this ‘blueprint‘ of yourself.
The Self-Image makes you the person you are ‘sort of‘.
You act according to your Self Image. You don’t deviate from it-you cannot deviate from it.
No matter how hard you try to change your external behavior, but if it is in contrast to your Self-Image, you will fail miserably. You will sabotage yourself.
You will find one way or another to fail yourself over and over again, just for the sake of being consistent and in alignment to your Self-Image.
“A person can never become what he ‘thinks’ he is not.”
That is an important quote right there. Read that again.
You are just a mirror image of the Self in your mind-an image of how you perceive yourself to be.
Everything that you are either capable or incapable of doing, is set by your Self-Image. You therefore, as a person on the whole, are the result of your portrayal of yourself in your own mind.
“The ‘Self-Image’ is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior.”
Time for an example to make you understand what we are talking about here.
Let’s say you have a Self-Image of yourself as a fat person, and in your mind, you project yourself as a 300 pounds obese guy/girl.
Now if being an obese person is the image of yourself etched in your mind, then no matter how much you go on dieting regimens, or tire yourself up with exercise, you will always find ways to sabotage your efforts in getting lean.
This is because a person has no choice, but to act in ways which would fulfill his Self-Image.
Maybe you will feel excessive appetite at midnight and feel compelled to gobble everything down that is kept in your refrigerator. Or you will feel a great urge to consume food of high calories and you would end up violating your dieting plan.
As a consequence, you really become fat and hence your Self-Image that “I am a fat person” is reinforced. It serves as a “proof” for you, and thus your Self-Image,as an overweight person, is strengthened.
Acts of going against your Self-Image are vain, for you will always revert back to what you think about yourself.
Remember what I said before-“A person can never become what he ‘thinks’ he is not.”
Meaning if I am not into stealing things, I will not do it. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to convince me to do so.
It’s just not “me.“
I don’t consider myself as a person who steals, therefore I don’t do it. My Self-Image is of a person who is upright and moral in his actions.
This is the same reason why a person who commits a minor crime and serves some time in the prison doesn’t actually improves.
His Self-Image that “I am a criminal” is reinforced. Therefore, when he serves his time in the prison and is released, he ends up committing more crimes, sometimes even more heinous crimes than what he served time in the prison for.
Once again, it serves as a proof for him that he is , indeed, a criminal- and a serious one at that. The cycle keeps on going.
Similarly, a child who is bad at mathematics, isn’t lacking any intellectual abilities at the subject. The problem lies in his Self-image where he repeatedly tells himself “I am just not good at mathematics.”
He ‘sees‘ himself as someone who performs poor in math.
So if you are currently facing difficulties in any part of your life, the problem is not in you, but in your Self-Image.
Fix the Self-Image and the problem would be resolved effortlessly.
“A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about him- self and his environment.”
HOW THE HELL WAS THE IDEA CONCEPTUALIZED?
I was introduced to the concept of Self-image through Dr.Maxwell Maltz’s book ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’. The book was published in the 1960-61 and became an instant best-seller. It has been in regular print ever since, with some minor modifications in the language for the modern times.
You see Dr.Maxwell Maltz was a cosmetic surgeon and performed face-lifts. During his job, he encountered three different kinds of people who came to him in order to have their faces fixed.
The first kind, he observed, were the people who used to have quite content and blissful lives, before a mishap or an accident spoiled the appearance of their faces. As a ramification, they became extremely self-conscious of their disfigured faces, which negatively affected their personal and social lives.
But their behavior would change when Dr. Maltz performed face-lifts, and the grotesqueness from their faces was gone. They became their previous normal self again. The inhibition and self-consciousness they felt, disappeared.
In his book he provides an example of a salesman who got his face disfigured in an automobile accident. The salesman got a huge scar on his cheek, and his mouth got twisted in a very unnatural way.
He became obsessed with the way he looked because he felt “different”.
He began to think that he might be repulsive to others. Soon enough, he became hostile and bitter towards everyone, even towards his wife. This was a person who used to be happy all the time and people loved his company. Now, he was just a crude person.
But as soon as Dr.Maltz performed a face-lift on him, his personality changed literally over-night. He regained his self-confidence, and his self-esteem recovered. He was no longer hostile. He was healed.
Second kind, Dr. Mlatz observed, were those of the men and women who had some sort of innate facial disfigurement, and they felt odd because of that.
The peculiar thing was, even when Dr. Maltz performed face-lift and gave them improved faces, they didn’t exhibit any improvement in their behavior at all.
This led Dr.Maltz to question himself- if having new and ‘improved’ faces was something which alleviated people’s self-esteem and self-confidence, then why do these people were exception? Why did not these people felt confident like those in the first kind?
He also found out that there is even third category of people who had normal faces, and in some cases, unusually attractive faces, yet they wanted him to perform face-lift on their ‘ugly‘ faces.
The startling fact was that even when he performed face-lift on these people, sometimes to the extent that even their relatives and friends could hardly recognize them, the persons still felt that their faces weren’t changed a bit.
This led Dr.Maltz to believe that the issue that these people had, was not physical, rather psychological nature.The problem was not with the people’s outer self, but something was wrong with how they thought about themselves-how they perceived themselves to be.
The image they had of themselves in their minds, was radically different than they were on the outside.
This was the root of the problem. Thus,the concept of ‘Self -Image’ was established.
A person feels anxious, inhibited and self-conscious when his self-image and his outer self are inconsistent to each other.His creativity is stalled and his self-esteem takes a massive hit.
The extensive and most convincing experiments regarding Self-Image were done by Late Sir Prescot Lecky.
Sir Lecky was a school teacher, and therefore most of his experiments revolved around the students he taught.
Lecky conceived that if a student faced difficulties learning a certain subject, it didn’t depict a lack in his intellect. Instead, it was an insight into the student’s psychology about himself-his poor conclusion about himself.
But what if the self-conception of the child could be changed?
What if he became a different personality altogether in his mind?
Would that influence his learning abilities?
Dr.Maltz in his book ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’,provides a number of anecdotes presented by Sir Prescot Lecky in his book, ‘Self Consistency, A Theory Of Personality’, where the change in the Self Image of the student transformed their academic career:
•A student who misspelled 55 out of a total hundred words,made an average of 91 and became the best speller in the entire school next year.
•A girl who had failed Latin four times, after three sessions with the school counselor, passed with a grade of 84.
•A boy who was told by a testing bureau that he had no aptitude for English, won honorable mention the next year for a literary prize.
•A boy who was dropped from one college because of poor grades, entered Columbia and became a straight “A” student.
So where does all this evidences leave us?
Number one– The change in your Self-Image can truly alter you from the inside out. You would be a new person with new habits,new thoughts and new personality.There would be no limitations to what you could achieve!
Number two– Your Self-image, whatever it is right now, can be changed, and that too very easily.
Let’s face it, if freakin’ school kids could change their Self-Image, so can you.
Now, you are excited to learn about how to change your Self-Image, aren’t you?
Good. Because now comes the real deal.
HOW YOUR SELF IMAGE WAS FORMED
Before we move on to the ways of improving your Self-Image, it is your duty to understand how it was formed in the first place.
What contributed to your Self-Image the way it is today?
Not surprisingly, your current Self-Image was formed in the early years and adolescence period when you were most susceptible to everything that was said about you.
You had not developed critical and rational thinking skills yet then, and you accepted things about you without thinking them through.
The following three factors have the most impact in forming your Self-Image:
In your tender years,you were vulnerable to the world around. You needed protection and care, and the people who provided you all that were your parents. Therefore, you viewed your parents as complete Authority.
Therefore, when words like “You are no good, John” were spoken by them, you accepted that as a universal truth.
“How could someone who cares about me so much be wrong?” you thought.
“If my parents say I will not amount to anything, then that must be the truth“, you falsely concluded.
Your parents when rebuked and admonished you for your good, did more harm, although unintentionally.
They didn’t know better.
Every harsh thing said about you, you took personally.
Let’s suppose the same message “You are no good, John” was said in front of your peers and other people. How much impact do you think that would have on you?
Authority plus Intensity increments the charge of the experience, and thus contributes majorly in forming your Self Image.
Finally, let us suppose that the same message “You are no good,John” is said by your parents, in a social setting and a repeated number of times?
It is no doubt that John grows up with a pretty bad self-concept.
His perception and his opinions about himself are extremely derogatory and he believes, literally believes, that he is no good.
Humans aren’t made to be ‘no good.’
Of course, had John’s parent said something like “You are capable of doing anything“, in front of his peers and other people, and also repeatedly (Authority+Intensity+
The Self-Image we form in our early years determine the way we feel about ourselves, make decisions, act and live our lives.
Therefore, it is quiet necessary to have an intact and accurate Self-Image about ourselves. One must replace the negative Self-Image with a positive one.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF-IMAGE!
If changing your Self-image means you can become the kind of person you have always wanted to be, then the curiosity peaks-how can you change it?
Do you have to follow some kind of ritual involving animal sacrifices?
Would I ask you to do a head-stand, under the bone-chilling falls?
Does it involve subscribing to our newsletter?
Hopefully, none of the above.
(Subscribing to our newsletter is not a bad idea though. You will be updated as soon as we release another awesome article like this one, and you will receive it straight in your inbox which makes sure that you don’t miss it. Subscribe. You will totally fall in love with us!)
I have always stressed on the importance of keeping things simple, and this is no exception.
The way to change your Self-Image is through ‘Visualisation‘ or
‘Theatre Of The Mind‘, as Dr.Maltz used to put it.
Visualisation has got the negative connotation nowadays particularly because people think that something as simple as visualising could really achieve anything.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
Numerous researches prove that vivid visualization has the same impact on your mind as the real events do.
In a controlled experiment, psychologist R A Vandel proved that sitting infront of a dart board and vividly imagining throwing darts at it, improves aim as much as ACTUALLY practicing throwing the darts.
In a report by ‘Research Quarterly’, an experiment was conducted to determine how much a person improves at sinking basketballs into the basket, just by imagining throwing the ball into it.
The candidates were divided into three groups,and each group was scored on the first day.
Group first candidates were to actually practice sinking the ball in
the basket for twenty minutes, every day.
Group second candidates were directed to not involve in any kind of practice.
Group third,however,had to practice throwing the ball for twenty minutes…in their imagination! They had to vividly imagine practicing the sport.
For twenty days,candidates of all three groups did as they were directed.
On the last day, all the candidates of the three groups were scored once again, and the results were nothing short of astounding.
The first group, who practiced basketball for real,improved the ball-throwing skills by 24 percent.
The second group showed no improvement at all.
The third group however, which was directed to mentally rehearse the throw the ball, exhibited improvement up to 23 percent!
Nearly as much as the first group!
What does it tells you?
It tells that your imagination is not something which should be taken frivolously.
It is an extremely potent tool- a tool which you can use to either create or destroy yourself.
It is neither good nor evil.
It is just an equipment at your disposal to use with discretion, just like a knife, which you can use to either cut vegetables and meat, or harm yourself.
Your mind forms conclusions about yourself from the past experiences.
If you, for instance, ever stood on stage in front of an audience to give a speech, and it went horribly, then the next time you are asked to give a speech, you will remember the past event and tell others (and yourself)-“I am not a good orator.“
That one negative experience ruins you for life.
But let’s suppose, you had one bad speech, but then delivered ten perfect speeches.
How would you react when next time someone asks you to deliver a speech?
Will you go?
Of course you will! That ten positive experiences would over-ride a negative one.
The trick lies in forming good experiences over and over again. That’s where ‘Creative Visualization’ Or ‘The Theater Of The Mind’ comes into equation.
As I’ve already proved to you that the mind cannot differentiate between a real event and a vividly imagined one, we will use our imagination to feed our brain with certain ‘experiences’.
Experiences about events which never really happened.
The Self-Image in your early years was formed unintentionally.This
time,we are going to create a new,improved and better Self-Image.But it will be all consciously this time.
Find yourself a time and place where you will not be disturbed or interrupted for twenty minutes.Turn off your mobile phone (one of the primary sources of distraction.)
Sit comfortably in a chair, close your eyes and relax.
Let go of every thought that comes into mind.Take your time to make yourself really comfortable.Remember a time when you felt at most ease and were really relaxed.
Let go of any tension from your body.
Avoid crossing your arms and legs and make sure your teeth are not
Open your palms and rest your head comfortably.
As soon as you are completely and totally relaxed and feel really good,begin the process of imagination.
Begin imagining yourself your ideal self.In your imagination,’be’ your ideal self-the way you really want to be.
If you want to be a very successful musician,imagine yourself performing in front of a cheering audience-encouraging you,shouting your name, singing along with you. Imagine the touch of the mic, the spotlight, the blaring music from the loud speakers.
Make it as detailed as possible because, let’s face it- you are creating an experience here. Experiences are detailed. We are creating ‘artificial memories’ which will act as references for your mind, which will form your Self-Image and direct your future behavior.
Also don’t think or give any importance to how you had acted yesterday or will act tomorrow. Be present. Enjoy the scenario you are in. Enjoy ‘being’ what you’ve always wanted to be even if in your visualization.
Play with the imagination.
Let those images dominate you. Relish in them.
If you want to be a successful author, imagine having your book on top of the best-sellers.Imagine being worshiped by the people who enjoy reading your works. Imagine giving autograph on your books to your fans.
Make yourself feel really good about it.
Don’t bore yourself. If you are getting bored in the process, then you
are not visualising details enough.
Do not rush the process. Many people rush the entire process of visualization and thus do not get the desired results.
Make it as real and stimulating as it could be. Let the images seduce you.
After twenty minutes, open your eyes and carry on with your day.
Don’t think about it, it’s the job of your sub-conscious mind.
Do the process for three weeks, twice a day.I do it everyday, makes me feel good.
Don’t be surprised though, if you soon find yourself experiencing a deja vu.
Alright guys, now you know one of the most potent tools of self- improvement ever came into existence.
Let us know how did it go for you, in the comments below after you have completed the drill for 21 days straight.
You can also buy the revised and expanded softcover version of the book on Amazon by following this link:
Until Next Time Guys,
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